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“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” - Jack Kornfield
So many of us find it so much easier to be compassionate with others than we are with ourselves. If a dear friend is struggling or in pain, we’re likely to listen to them, validate what they’re feeling, and offer to support them. If a friend makes a mistake, we’re not going to pile on the criticism. In a healthy, loving friendship, we generally seek to empathize and support one another, not tear other down.
However, when it comes to ourselves, many of us have a tendency to minimize our own pain and be excessively judgmental towards ourselves. Our inner critics can be incredibly harsh. Often the sort of things we say to ourselves are things we would never dream of saying to someone who we respect or care about.
During today’s Facebook live, I spoke about how spring as a season naturally encourages a sense of optimism, renewal, and growth… But that sometimes, we’re really just not feeling it. Sometimes we feel stuck, ineffective, depressed, low energy. Or maybe one day we feel great and totally aligned, but the next we feel distracted and off track. And yes, sometimes we really do fuck up—badly. We may even say or do something that seems—perhaps to some, is—unforgivable. And the sense of shame that arises can feel excruciating and drive us into deeper sense of shame and unworthiness.
All of these situations, no matter how big or small, call for self-compassion. Compassion literally means “to suffer with.” To hold space in our heart for another’s suffering is a powerful act of love and solidarity. To accept and honor our own suffering—especially when we feel trapped in self-judgment—is also a profound act of love and solidarity, not only with ourselves, but with all beings.
To be continued 💗
jackkornfield compassion suffering love selfcompassion acceptance selfcare solidarity healing worthiness selfworth growth healing forgiveness inspiration being quotes quotestoliveby