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Goals here’s another sneak peak at Beautiful Souls: Sitting alone in an enclosed space, I started feeling the existential dread seep into each crevice of my brain. Not a single soul could fathom all I had been through, all I had seen. I once heard someone say, “Wear a smile and not a single person will sense something is wrong.” Oh, if I only knew then what I know now. To walk through a hallway and be treated as a disease, to have honest conversations with a person and have them all but spit in your face, to be in a room with people who look right through you as if you are a massive jerk or piece of crap. To be holding on by a mere millimeter of a slender piece of thread: dangling… just waiting for a hand or a glimmer of hope to keep you alive and awake. But it does get harder with each passing moment. It seems as if there is no end to the agony. It seems as if more weight is being progressively added stack by stack, slander by slanderous word. When does it become too heavy to bear? When does it become so ingrained and painful, that something has to happen? Where is the light within? Where is the voice within that says, “You’ll be okay, just hold on…”? No. There is just utter silence. There is just pain. A deep rooted pain knowing that you harness so much potential, yet are contrasted by the devout burning sensation enveloping your soul. Hurt shivers down my arms and picks up the tiny hairs along the way. “I hurt myself to see if I still feel” echoes through the small room. Johnny Cash’s pain is almost as drastic as what rattles in my mind right now. What have I become? Everyone I know does seem to go away in the end. The smile I wear rests in my palm, drenched in blood and deep-rooted in the missing pieces of everything and everyone I once had and held dear. “I keep going to the river to pray, because I need something that will wash all the pain. At most, I am sleeping all the demons away, but your ghost… The ghost of you, it keeps me awake.” I want a new beginning. I will find a way.
Yeah, I’ll find a way. beautifulsouls author writer newyorktimesbestseller lawofattraction vision gratitude spiritual strength focus positivevibes meditation