1 month ago
• W O R R Y •
These past few weeks have been as if I am dreaming. I traveled along the coast, to the redwoods, got engaged, and it is the last bittersweet weeks of school.
The other morning though, as all the amazing things buzzed around in my mind, I found myself worried. Worried there wasn’t enough money in my reserve for all the lovely events that just passed and for the future events yet to come.
Anxiety filled every bone, causing my mind to stumble into “what if’s” that no daughter of the King should explore.
I wish I could say that the moment I recognized the often too familiar feeling of anxiety, I turned to God. But instead, the sickly comfort of negativity grasped me longer than I want to admit.
But God, in His wondrous kindness, crashed through without my efforts to find Him. He began to flood my mind with who He thought I am. And suddenly, money didn’t matter more than His voice. The assault of His thoughts of me were almost violent. He demanded I know who I am, even if I felt more comfortable criticizing myself and my decisions.
I was brought to my knees in thankfulness. I was humbled by the sovereignty of the Lord of the universe. He never once denied that money matters in this world. Because it does matter. But it doesn’t matter as much as the moments it has helped to build.
In a moment of anxiety, I told my fiancé how worried I was and he said, “darling, your Father wants to lavish you with His goodness.”
So who am I to take that away from the King of kings? Who am I to declare how He should love me? And oh, does He love me These past few weeks have felt like a dream because they once were dreams. God, in His love, has made my dreams become reality. And isn’t relishing in that more important than worrying about fleeting money?
money worry thefather sovereignty kingofkings anxiety reality realstgram everydaylife whatif redwoods goodness god bittersweet