11 minutes ago
Like a fine wine 😂😂😂🙌 Ok so granted these pictures are 12 years apart, and I'm pretty sure I would have sported chubby baby cheeks through my early 20's anyway ( babyface) but DUDE, the important differences here are FOR REAL FOR REAL the ones you cannot see.
At 23 in 2007 I was in my head ALL THE FRICKING TIME. "Do they like me?" "Why don't they like me?" "Did I just say the dumbest thing ever?" "Do they see how disgusting, fat, ugly I am?" "God, that girl is so pretty and so confident and way cooler than I could ever be" and worrying about what so and so was thinking about me. Did they think I was weird AF? Could they tell I cared so much? I don't think I ever really said this out loud like ever but I used to worry that people thought I was gay which is cool if you are, but this was just an extension of me thinking other people were judging me all time and living under the weight of that.
I lived like this til I was 30 freaking years old. Can you imagine the mental exhaustion of living like that for 30 years? Have YOU lived like that? Long story short, and I didn't realize I was doing it at the time, I just thought that I was losing weight for a wedding but also deep down to be better accepted, finally REALLY accepted by those cooler girls but when you're consistently taking the time to do some work like that that's a liiiiittle bit uncomfortable, you end up replacing all that noise in your head. And not just for the 25 minutes that you're sweating. At first it's maybe 15 minutes of those 25, and then several days later it's all 25. 2 weeks later it's the hour after you've got your sweat sesh in too. And then there you are 6, 9, 12 months later and those thoughts pop briefly into your head as a memory of who you aren't anymore.
I was awesome in 2007. And bubbly, and likeable and funny and fun. That's what I wish 23 year old Alicia knew. And all those ideas about all those people judging me were mostly a creation in my own mind. So much unnecessary stress. All that time I could have been figuring out who I *really* was instead of trying to live and morph into this created external perception. 👇