47 minutes ago
HER *FEAR* ( PART 1)
It was the first time I sensed her. As mum said goodnight and turned off the light"No leave the lights on". Why? "I dont knowplease leave it on". It was as if the light drove her away. That day she came in form of DARKNESS.
Because in the DARK the Ghost hidor was it the MONSTER UNDER MY BED? I guess after sneaking into the living room to see that scary movieur imaginations start to go wildhuh. Her presence filled the room heavily and I heard my HEARTBEAT get louder. I worried she might hear as I held on tightly to baby or was it HARRY OR BETTY. I dont remember, but at that point my security was in the tight embrace of my stuffed animals as I looked round intensely. "Mummy mummy"I would cry out as I cried myself to sleep.
As I got older she grew with me. A teenage little beast. She was feisty. And when she surfaced, she knew how to do her jobpretty well I must say.
You see life happens and when it happened She was there for me. It was ok to have her around because she alerted me of the dangers. Don't say, dont feel, dont hear, dont smell. It was an endless emotion that trapped me and captured my peace of mind. It was POWERFUL and POWERLESS at the same time. I cannot explainIt was FEAR.
She followed me everywhereshe trapped my voice and when she touched my skin, it was so cold it could turn a hot summers day into a winter's night. She gave me the shakes almost like I had the flu or malaria. Paralysed my thoughtsmy eyes , it was herit was seeing things differentlysmaller than they could beNO lBIGGER than they actually weremy perspective of life was down to how she wanted it to look at that time and place .
It started to feel comfortable to have her around. I created a little space in my heart for her. I consulted her before I made any decisions. I wore her HANDCUFFS like a BRACELET , I listened to her VOICE like a SONG and when I spoke about her, it was almost like she was my fascination, my IDOL, and my BESSTFRIEND. She controlled my THOUGHTS , she manipulated my MIND and she stayed with me always HER NAME IS FEAR
fear herfear anxiety dark mummy