38 minutes ago
I don't think I can ever love any fruit as much as I live mango. My family is a crazy mango fan and we used to have it with every meal for 4-5 months straight, from Feb to June end. It was my childhood. But due to my eating disorder, I stopped having it, I feared it. I didn't want to eat it because I thought I would never be satisfied with just a piece or two. So I stopped having it altogether. My mom would ask me to try just one small bite of it every single day and I wouldn't have it. I would go to my room when my family would have mangoes just because I didn't want to have the urge to eat and I didn't want them to ask me to just have a taste. I'd tell them it gave me acne. I would smell them and keep it back. I feared the carbs, the sugar, the calories. And today, I gave it up. I ate 2 whole mangoes and I might go back for a third. Why? After resisting eating it for months? 2 years? Because I got tired. I got exhausted. It was mentally draining for me to avoid these fear foods and label them as allergies or what not. Today, I ate ice cream too. The real one, not sugar free, high protein, nice cream stuff. And I had mangoes. I had all my meals and snacks and then these foods that I really wanted to have.
Sometimes, we do avoid certain foods because we build up these lies, these beliefs, that help us obsess over weight loss, over calories, over health and fitness.
You might not be lactose intolerant, you might not have celiac disease, mangoes might not lead to acne, almond milk is not wallet friendly. But you put in all sorts of efforts just to avoid certain things, because the social media has put fears inside of you. It demonizes foods. You don't want to accept it but somewhere that obsession of making everything healthy does take over at times. And if you overcome these obsessions, fears and beliefs, even in those small moments, then you've won your battle against theories.
Your dessert doesn't need to be food. Your fruit doesn't need to be just berries.
Your ice cream doesn't need to be sugar free. Everything doesn't need to revolve around protein and greens.
Eat the real thing. Move on. Also eat nutritious food. Do not obsess. Do not lie to yourself. Live.