1 hour ago
My friend sent me this little gem, and here is my response(I might have to make it its own post). 😉
Also, eggs are as bad as cigarettes, although studies have shown it can lower cholesterol, despite it being high in cholesterol. And cholesterol ends in -sterol, so eggs are steroids. Oh, and sitting is the new smoking. Nicotine is a cognitive enhancer, but also in cigarettes, so cigarettes make you smarter, and smart people are healthier. Foods that have a picture of a farm on the front are better for you, and anything labeled Organic is a Superfood. Everyone is suddenly Turmeric and CBD deficient. Fasting increases growth hormone, so the longer you don’t eat the more muscle you’ll build, unless you die from starvation. Wheat has gluten, so its bad for you, but wheatgrass shots are good for you, because it’s a juice, and it’s green. Also, everyone that has drank diet soda for the last 50 years is going to get cancer tomorrow, when Mercury is in retrograde. We are healthier than all the other water drinking animals on the planet because we have alkaline water. Milk is bad because that’s what baby cows also drink, and baby cows are evil. Putting lemon in your water has been shown to make it taste more like lemon. Lemons contain sugar though, so make sure your lemons are at least organic, because that makes it a healthy sugar. Celery contains negative calories. Tomatoes are bad because Tom Brady says so. Chemicals are bad, even though all foods are made of chemicals. I never drink dihydrogen monoxide, even those that’s what water is. Brown rice is better than white rice because white rice is racist. Tilapia thins the skin. Don’t eat after 6pm, because Oprah says so, and she’s famous. Alcohol is a toxin, but not if it’s red wine. Cheese is puss. If you put fat in your coffee, you lose fat from your body.