1 hour ago
I can feel my mood shifting ever so slightly everyday- on a decline.
Winter and I have never gotten along very well. My joints ache, my asthma flares, I'm even more fatigued. Depression creeps in and I end up being hospitalised every Autumn or Winter in an acute depressive episode.
I want to break this cycle, though I'm not sure how. I have so many skills in my back pocket from years of therapy and it's never quite enough.
My mantra in the past has been: be gentle with yourself. But I need to be a tough loving mama to myself instead. I'm making myself exercise, eat, get sun, take supplements. engaging with friends. Taking moments to hold my plants. Snuggling my cats. Rubbing one out mindfully. Enjoying something decedant for breakfast when I feel like it. Sitting in the quiet and praying, connecting with the earth and my loved ones beyond this realm. Taking that time to put my phone away and study for the afternoon, boppin to fresh tunes. Finding those moments to check in and hold myself close.
Keeping on top of the delicate balance of pushing, resting and treading water. Its tedious and tiring and honestly I just want to let loose. Go on a holiday somewhere warm and skinny dip in the evenings, drunk on peach and lavender sunsets.
Check in with yourselves, with those around you. So many of us decline at this time of year. Be gentle. Be a tough mama. Hold yourself close.