52 minutes ago
Almost a year ago, i got to celebrate this scrumptious little boy's 1st birthday. I love him so much. When I took the bus from PA to NY for the party, i was in a bad place. I gained the most weight and mentally I was sick. I was barely leaving my house unless it was for work and the only reason was because I had my car. My car was my bestfriend. I didnt have to worry about people looking at me. I played my music, went to work, went home, and occasionally left at 2am when I knew everyone was sleeping.
The bus ride was rough. I was shaking. My anxiety level was scary. Too close to a panic attack. I also haven't seen my bestfriend in a while so I was surprising her. I was about to reunite with her and attend a party with over 50 people. PEOPLE THAT HAD EYES. THAT COULD. LOOK. AT. ME. That was always the worst feelingit's like the floor under me was going to not collapse but instead lift up high and expose me for the fat loser I was.
Luckily once I got there the surprise was a success and she helped me with some makeup to fix the face. We went to Target to get a faja which is a tight body hugging thing you wear to suck in all that fat. CLEARLY it didn't really work that well but its ok. Because im ok now and I'm not horrified to post this pic. To me, that's progress. I got to facetime this little man today. He warms my soul with his laugh and those faces! He is so smart and makes me want to work harder so I can spoil him with more toys (sorry skyelynnazalea21). His birthday is coming up soon and I plan on attending with (hopefully) a lot less anxiety and an outfit that I'll take a photo in and actually post.
I also want to thank his family because they have always loved and accepted me since day 1 about 8 years ago. In their home, i never felt that I had to wear my sweater to cover up or sit up at all times. They showed me unconditional love and support through all of my weights and insanity. I could never repay them for that but I promise to always strive to be the best me so one day, hopefully I can 💪🏻💜😚🦕
weight weightloss weightstruggle positiveattitude selflove weightlossjourney loveyourself angelikasjourney