13 minutes ago
Through the crevasse of your mind a drop begins to fill up your brain. ♡
It drips its toxicity slowly but surely. •
It drives you insane. ♡
You try your best to shake your thoughts, closing your tired eyes and shouting no. •
No, to the voice that tells you everyone will leave you. ♡
Eventually your whole body is flooded with past trauma and pain, painted as present reality. •
Then the voice taunts "she will grow tired eventually, best let her go!" ♡
In truth this is all false garbage, but in the moment you don't see this. •
You are not all there. ♡
No longer fully present. •
You are back in the past kicking around pained feelings, tearing open long ago healed wounds. ♡
In these moments you need to find a rope back to reality. •
Ignore the past as it can no longer harm you. ♡
Those who left you never belonged. •
Embrace the feeling and let it go again as it came. ♡
Or, risk the fiction write its way into relality
This is one of the hardest poems I have ever written I tried hard to capture my true sentiments regarding my issue of abandonment.
I wanted to tackle this poem to get it off my chest and also explore it better, as a poet there is no point of keeping anything important from being written about.
For some time whenever I have been in a relationship this issue has cropt up again and again in different forms.
And as to yet I have not given it that much attention, now this is me admitting it is something to overcome/work on.
I need to stop imagining the past into future existance, be clear headed in my turbulent moments.
And although it is likely I will never shake the feeling off completely I can learn to cope and make it weaker every time, easier to control.
Because I tell you it is very powerful, I write not to draw pitty or attention (on myself) but in the hope that anyone dealing with a similar issue can be reassured you are not the only one.
Always know it is within our power to change once we admit to ourselves.
Pray for God's help in your journey and stay strong, carry on!
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